


Stay

by dreyars



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 19:28:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3867016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreyars/pseuds/dreyars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five days together, four nights alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay

The first time was easy.  They began fucking around at their training camp after Kuroo’s suggestion, so really, there wasn’t really any extra time to be all cuddly and gross and Tsukishima didn’t mind.  He didn’t particularly _like_ Kuroo then.  He was too loud and too immature despite somehow being able to keep his team under control.  Tsukishima couldn’t see any way for them to actually get along and be friends because their personalities were way too different for them to be anything more than acquaintances, or fuck buddies as Kuroo so bluntly called it when Tsukishima asked him what the hell had happened the next morning.

Like sure, Tsukishima thought he was hot.  He was pretty sure that even the straightest guys in the gym would admit that.  But really, that was the only thing Tsukishima liked about him.  So it was pretty easy to leave after wiping his hands off on some dirty towels in the Nekoma locker room.  He pulled his shorts up and wished Kuroo a good night before departing, not once looking at the other male’s face after Tsukishima came down from his high.

The second time, well, that was pretty easy too. Tsukishima wasn’t sure when he had allowed Kuroo close enough to himself that they would actually make plans to do something that wasn’t volleyball related, but there they were.  Kuroo had come to him that time, because there was no way Tsukishima would spend money to go all the way to Tokyo for just a couple of days.  Kuroo had slept on the floor of his bedroom the night before, and they had been running errands for Tsukishima’s mother all day Saturday before finally getting a moment to themselves.  It was already starting to get dark and everyone was already packing it up for the night, so they weren’t disturbed when they crawled up to the highest level of the play-scape in the park a few blocks away from Tsukishima’s house.

They watched the stars and spoke in hushed voices about what they wanted to do with their lives until Tsukishima felt Kuroo’s heavy hand on his thigh.  He had turned towards the kiss that was already creeping up his neck and turning his skin a soft pink. 

Tsukishima didn’t stop him.  He never felt a need to stop him.  This was all they were. Something like friends who sometimes touched each other without mentioning it outside of the moment.

Tsukishima did feel bad about leaving what they did behind on the playground, but he climbed down the ladder before Kuroo even finished buckling his pants so he didn’t know if the older boy had taken the time to wipe the evidence away.

The third time…

The third time was harder, and Tsukishima couldn’t really say why.

Maybe it was because this was the first time that they didn’t have to separate after they were done because they were wrapped up in the solitude and silence of Kuroo’s home.

Maybe it was because instead of gravel and dirt digging into his knees, Tsukishima felt the smooth slide of fresh sheets that smelled like lavender.

Maybe it was because this was the first time they had done something other than touching each other with their hands or mouth. 

Maybe it was because Tsukishima’s legs and ass ached and he couldn’t be bothered to move until it felt like the moment was too intimate to stay.

All he knew was that it definitely _wasn’t_ the way Kuroo’s hand loosely wrapped around his wrist, a silent plea that felt as weak as Tsukishima’s legs.  He didn’t have to do much more than tug his arm away for Kuroo to let go, allowing him to wobble off to the bathroom, clothes in hand as he prepared to go back home for the week.

Kuroo didn’t say anything when he left, and that was probably what made it really difficult.  He had turned onto his side, his bare back facing the room with fresh red lines covering his shoulders (courtesy of Tsukishima’s fingernails).  Tsukishima would’ve thought he was asleep if he didn’t already know that Kuroo could only sleep on his stomach with his pillows pressed to his ears to block out any noise.

No, he had been awake and completely ignored Tsukishima’s goodbyes.

Tsukishima texted him when he got back home to let him know he had made it safely, and it was over an hour before Kuroo answered.  He seemed fine, cheery and good natured as always, so Tsukishima refused to worry.

The fourth time was the worst.

A situation nearly identical to their previous escapade, save for the fact that this time, Kuroo was the one who found it difficult to stand after.

And there was also the small fact that while Tsukishima had been on his knees the time before, Kuroo chose to stay on his back.  His reasoning for this was simply “I want to see your face, Tsuki” but something about his tone made it so that Tsukishima couldn’t believe him.

It was that small something about his tone and his vulnerability and the way he moaned Tsukishima’s given name that made it so Tsukishima knew Kuroo was lying when he said he was okay.

There was also the wet look in Kuroo’s eyes when Tsukishima shrugged his arms off of his shoulders and shook his legs from around his hips. Once again, Kuroo did not say a word as Tsukishima left his bedroom, closing it softly as he picked up his bag from the floor.  This time, Tsukishima did not give him the courtesy of words either, stubbornly refusing to say goodbye or see you later or anything that would give off the air that this was more than what Tsukishima assumed it was.

He nearly felt his resolve break when the door clicked shut and he heard Kuroo let out a loud sob from behind the door.  It had been delayed a few seconds, Kuroo probably having assumed that Tsukishima had already made his way down the hallway and could no longer hear him.

Tsukishima had indeed made his way down the hallway, but the cry was so loud and heart wrenchingly sad that he was sure he would have still heard it even if he was two blocks down the street.  Tsukishima considered turning back for a moment.  A part of him wanted to go back and comfort him.  To find out why he was making such an ugly noise after what they had done.

But he didn’t turn back.  He didn’t want to see someone he thought was so strong in such a weak state.

Besides, if Kuroo had waited until he left to cry, he probably didn’t want the shame of being seen.

So he left.

He left and didn’t return until Kuroo called him back over a month later.

He came ungrudgingly, and allowed himself to be pushed into the plush mattress of Kuroo’s bed. He allowed Kuroo to kiss his neck and call his name and do whatever he saw fit in the moment.  He wished he could turn onto his knees as the moment became too stifling personal as Kuroo sat inside him while he lay on his back.  Kuroo’s cheeks wet with unspoken feelings that Tsukishima did not understand and he didn’t want to see them anymore.

So, Tsukishima closed his eyes and waited until Kuroo collapsed beside him on his bed.  He opened his eyes once his heart stopped pounding and his breathing leveled out.

He felt Kuroo’s eyes on him.  Even if he didn’t turn to look at him, Tsukishima could tell it was a questioning gaze.

Asking what he was thinking.

What he was feeling.

Why he hadn’t already stood up and left the room now that his body had cooled and his legs felt more solid than gelatin.

Tsukishima didn’t know himself.  Something was keeping here, even as the heat returned to his skin as Kuroo continued to stare at him without saying a word.

“Kuroo.”

A hum was all he received in response.  A hum and a light touch on his hip as Kuroo savored the moment that was sure to break as soon as Tsukishima felt uncomfortable enough to move.

“What are you thinking about?”

A shrug this time as Kuroo turned his body to lay on his stomach. He kept his face turned towards Tsukishima, as well as an outstretched hand sitting on the pillow next to his blonde hair.

Close enough to touch, yet almost forbidden to approach.

“What do you want?”

An ‘I don’t know’ and a retreating hand that slid underneath the pillow beneath Kuroo’s head.  He turned his face away and Tsukishima let out a long sigh.

“Do you want me to go?”

Kuroo’s shoulders stiffened as the muscles in his neck and arms tensed.  Tsukishima thinks he tried to shake his head, but he couldn’t quite tell.

“Well?”

“No.”

Tsukishima turned, propping himself on one arm as he hovered over Kuroo.  “No?” 

Tsukishima pressed on Kuroo’s shoulder until he turned over.  His cheeks and eyes were red and he looked so terribly pathetic that Tsukishima’s heart couldn’t do anything but ache for the broken young man.

“Please.” Tsukishima felt one of Kuroo’s hands grasp his forearm, begging him to come closer as Kuroo reached up as if he were going to touch Tsukishima’s face.  “Don’t leave.”

Kuroo’s fingers finally touched his face, dancing over his cheeks and brushing over his swollen bottom lip.  The gesture was timid and comforting, a welcome sensation after having been attacked by Kuroo’s teeth earlier in the evening.

“Why should I?”

“You don’t have to.” Kuroo’s thumb stopped in the middle of his forehead, pressing down lightly instead of continuing to brush his hair away.  “I just don’t think I want you to come back if you leave right now.”

Tsukishima’s heart jumped into his throat and if he stayed like that long enough, he probably would have gotten light headed.  Kuroo didn’t give him the chance though as he reclaimed Tsukishima’s attention when he dropped his hand from the other boy’s face.

“I just…I really like you a lot, Tsuki.  And I can’t handle it when you just leave-”

“Kuroo.”

He stopped midsentence, looking up to where Tsukishima still hovered over him.  His eyes were still wet, yet held a tinge of hopefulness as Tsukishima brushed his hair away from his sticky face.

“I’ll stay.”

Kuroo closed his eyes, whispering a soft thank you into Tsukishima’s ear as the boy settled himself down on his broad chest.

Tsukishima stayed the night, and the day after, but after thinking about it all days later, he could not find a way to legitimize what he did.

He had slept in Kuroo’s bed and let him kiss his eyelids.

He had allowed the other boy to call him beautiful and he had permitted his lips to curve into a smile with every reverent praise that fell from Kuroo’s lips.

He had let himself become vulnerable to someone he had sworn he’d never even be friends with, and now it physically pained him to imagine leaving him when Kuroo asked him to stay.

It was a dull, hollow ache in the pit of his chest and a thick, foreign lump at the base of his throat and he wanted to do anything he could to avoid that feeling.

So Tsukishima stayed and gave Kuroo permission to love him, even if it was only temporary.

He wasn’t sure if he knew how he felt, and he didn’t know if he could return Kuroo’s feelings in the way that the older boy needed him to.  Tsukishima didn’t know if he would be leading Kuroo on by staying, and considered leaving so that he wouldn’t hurt him if he eventually decided that he could never feel the same way. 

But that thought was only temporary, and oh so similar to the cautious and ever present doubts he was harboring.

There was so much Tsukishima didn’t know in this situation, and it scared him to imagine himself with Kuroo.

But it also scared him to imagine himself alone.

He didn’t want to leave.

And for now, that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Did ya miss me KuroTsuki fans?  
> finally getting around to requests. This one is for koalatooru who asked for some kurotsuki lovin. Or sort of loving.  
> Dont tell me to do kurotsuki and expect happy.


End file.
